With these tips we help you overcome a love breakup

​The question everyone asks after a breakup is, how do I get over a relationship? The first thing we must do to answer this question is to define that love relationships, as we already know, are those in which there is affection between two people, whether they are romantic relationships or friendships.

We also need to debunk some myths that exist about relationships that will help us put our circumstances in perspective:

• Better half: The myth says that we can only be happy if we are with someone else. In this way we put aside our personal well-being and we stop knowing each other because we are looking for a partner. We must understand that in order to be in a stable relationship with a person, the most important thing is that we are well, it is a mistake to base our happiness on another person, it should be a complement and not a necessity. 
• Prince Charming: This myth makes us believe that a man must save us, since without him by our side we cannot have security or a prosperous future. If we come to believe this, we put aside our own worth and it can make us believe that we are weak people. 
• Frog Prince: It is the myth in which love can do everything, even changing the worst of men. This type of thinking can generate a toxic dependency on a person and even gender violence. We cannot cling to a relationship in the hope that that person will change for love and become the perfect match.

At the end of a relationship we go through several stages:

• Denial: It is the first phase after a love breakup where it is difficult for us to accept that the relationship has come to an end, we will feel sadness and cry.
• Anger: In this second stage we will be invaded by hatred and anger, believing that we are being treated in a wrong way. unfair or that they betrayed us. In this phase there is usually a deep sadness and there may be aggressiveness and anxiety.
• Negotiation: During the third phase we look for solutions so that the situation changes. It is normal for us to act impulsively that cause different results than what we expect.
• Depression: You will begin to understand what happened and you will understand that the relationship has come to an end and you will no longer be together. At this point you may feel very sad, listless and hopeless. Here it is totally normal to stop eating, sleep poorly and not feel like going out.
• Acceptance: At this stage you come to accept that you have finished with your partner, regain strength and negative thoughts disappear.

Since we are clear about the stages and myths about relationships, it is time to move on to the ways to overcome a love breakup.

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Do not look guilty

You have to understand that the relationship is between two people and each party has an important role within it: responsibilities, blame and reproaches are shared between the two. So we need not to create a story of good and bad, much less play the victim, this type of attitude facilitates depression.

Let's reflect on our behaviors so we can learn from the mistakes we made. However, this must be done with some moderation and as long as the purpose of our reflection is to move forward.

If you feel like crying, do it.

The first thing we should do is cry, so we can release all the grief and anger that we carry inside. We should not stigmatize crying as it will help us have a much shorter duel.

So if you feel like crying just do it.

Do not idealize the relationship

One of the aspects that will hurt us the most is to idealize the relationship we were in and our ex-partner. It will be more difficult to finish the mourning stage, so we advise you not to only remember the good times and focus on how the relationship really was.

Something that will help you keep fantasies away is to write down all those things that you did not like about the relationship or your ex-partner. Read them to yourself when you start to remember the good times, so you won't forget the bad things you went through.

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Limit contact with your ex

While staying friends after a breakup sounds civil enough, it's not always necessary, especially when it's only a short time after the breakup. It is necessary to maintain a space with the ex-partner that helps you reflect on everything that has happened. Therefore, it is also advisable to remove him from all social networks, seeing how his life continues after being with us will lead us to experience greater anguish.

We must learn to be alone and the ideal is to lose contact completely for at least six months. It will allow us for the wound to heal correctly and after that you will be able to think about whether or not it is healthy to maintain a friendship.

Work on improving your self-esteem

It is common for feelings of loneliness, insecurity and even abandonment to appear after a love break. It is normal to feel this way as we get used to feeling like part of a couple. The feeling of insecurity can grow by not feeling good enough to have maintained the relationship.

To combat these negative feelings it is necessary to focus on our positive aspects and start working on ourselves. Think about who we are and what we want for the future.

Take advantage of the free time you're going to have by doing things that improve your self-esteem like going to the gym or creating a new routine. Exercise can be an excellent treatment against anxiety, it will help us reduce our depression and we will also stay healthy.

Another thing that works very well is to go back to doing things that one liked and stop doing or also experimenting with new things that for some reason we never dared to do.

Increase your social circle and go out with your friends

It is quite important to maintain a circle of friends after ending a relationship since they can exert a positive influence on us. Although at first we want to be completely alone and isolated, we should not go too far, it is something that will only harm us more.

Let's start going out with our friends, without forcing it, since we could have a hard time. Little by little recover your social life and open up to new possibilities.

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Write a diary

Writing about our feelings and experiences after a love break can help us accept the situation. In scientific terms, cognitive processing is accentuated in a simple way.

Those who write about the positive aspects of the breakup experience more positive emotions about the breakup. Those emotions include comfort, confidence, empowerment, energy, happiness, optimism, relief, contentment, appreciation, and wisdom.

Rule out starting a new relationship right away

It is easy to apply the saying that one nail pulls another nail, but if the duel has not been adequately passed, it is most likely that this new relationship will not have the expected success. Until you have gone through the normal process of breaking up, it is difficult to be able to give affection to another person.

Ask for help whenever you need it

It is important to have a trustworthy person who can be by our side in all the difficult moments that a breakup implies. The support of friends and family is necessary and appropriate, you should not be afraid to show what you feel in front of them, they will not judge you and most likely want your well-being and support you as much as possible.

If you feel that even though time has passed after the end of the relationship, you are not over your ex-partner, it is advisable to seek the help of professionals. The psychologist will help you redirect frustration, anger or mismanaged anger and reduce your emotional suffering.

Don't be afraid to ask for help!

What advice would you give to people who are going through a recent breakup? Did you like the tips? Tell us your opinion in the comments.​