Why are we perfectionists and how should we handle them?

Perfectionism is a personality trait that can be both positive and negative. On the one hand, it can propel us to great achievements. On the other hand, it can cause us stress, anxiety and low self-esteem.

Today we will talk about the world of perfectionists, their causes and effects, and offer advice on how to manage this trait to live a more balanced and satisfying life.

But why are we perfectionists? What factors influence this trait?

What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is a set of tendencies and behaviors characterized by the relentless pursuit of perfection and extreme self-demand. Perfectionistic people set exceptionally high standards for themselves and strive to achieve them in all aspects of their lives, whether in their work, personal relationships, physical appearance, or academic achievements.

Perfectionism is divided into two main types:

Self-oriented perfectionism: People with this type of perfectionism are their own harshest critics. They always feel dissatisfied with their own achievements and beat themselves up for not meeting their impossibly high standards.

Other-oriented perfectionism: In this case, people tend to project their high standards on others and expect others to meet them. They can be critical and demanding of those around them.

Why are there perfectionist people?

The causes of perfectionism are not entirely clear, but it is believed that there is a combination of genetic, environmental and psychological factors.

• Genetic factors: Some people may be more prone to perfectionism because of their genetics.
• Environmental factors: Perfectionism can also be influenced by environmental factors, such as education and culture. For example, growing up in an environment where perfection is valued can increase the risk of developing this trait.
• Psychological factors: Perfectionism can also be the result of psychological factors, such as fear of failure, low self-esteem, or seeking approval.

Some of the most common psychological factors that cause a person to be a perfectionist are:

• Social and cultural pressure: In a society that often values success and perfection, people can feel overwhelming pressure to meet unrealistic standards.
• Family expectations: Family expectations and upbringing can play an important role in the development of perfectionism. Parents or caregivers who set extremely high expectations may contribute to the formation of this trait in their children.
• Fear of failure: Perfectionism can be a way of dealing with fear of failure. By setting impossibly high standards, perfectionistic people can avoid facing the possibility of not meeting their own expectations.
• Seeking validation: Some people seek approval and validation from others through perfectionism. They believe that being perfect will make them more worthy of love and acceptance.

How can perfectionism affect us?

Perfectionism can have a significant impact on our lives, both positive and negative.

Positives:

• Achievement: Perfectionism can drive us to achieve great things. Perfectionists are usually very hard-working and dedicated, and they don't give up easily. This can lead to greater success at work, school, or sports.
• Dedication: Perfectionism can also help us to be more diligent and dedicated to our tasks. Perfectionists often push themselves to the max to do a good job, which can lead to a higher quality of work.
• Precision: Perfectionism can also help us to be more precise and careful in our work. Perfectionists tend to pay attention to detail and avoid making mistakes. s. This can be beneficial in tasks that require precision, such as engineering or medicine.

Negatives:

• Stress: Perfectionism can cause us stress and anxiety. The constant pressure to meet high standards can be exhausting and debilitating. This can lead to physical and mental health problems, such as insomnia, chronic fatigue or depression.
• Low self-esteem: Perfectionism can also lead to low self-esteem. Perfectionist people are often very critical of themselves and may feel inadequate if they do not meet their own expectations. This can lead to feelings of failure, shame, or resentment.
• Procrastination: Perfectionism can also lead to procrastination. Perfectionist people may be afraid of not meeting their standards, so they put off tasks until the last minute. This can lead to delays in project delivery or missed deadlines.
• Relationship problems: Perfectionism can also negatively affect personal relationships. Perfectionist people can be demanding of others, which can lead to conflict and resentment.

What should I do if I am a perfectionist?

If you identify as a perfectionist, there are some things you can do to manage this trait and reduce its negative effects:

• Recognize perfectionism: The first step to managing perfectionism is to recognize it. Take some time to reflect on your own perfectionist tendencies and how they are affecting you.
• Set realistic expectations: Learn to set realistic expectations for yourself and others. It is important to remember that no one is perfect and that it is okay to make mistakes.
• Practice self-care: Prioritize self-care and emotional well-being. Spend time doing activities that relax you and help you reduce stress.
• Foster resilience: Learn to be more resilient in the face of challenges and failures. Understand that learning comes from making mistakes and that you don't have to be perfect to be valuable.
• Seek professional support: If perfectionism is having a significant impact on your life, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. Therapy can be an effective tool to address this trait.

Perfectionism is a complex trait that can have both positive and negative effects on our lives. If you identify as a perfectionist, it is important to recognize this trait and take steps to manage it in a healthy way.

Do you identify with perfectionist people? Have you experienced any of the negative effects of perfectionism in your life? If so, we encourage you to share your story in the comments. Your experience might help other perfectionists realize they are not alone!