Envy: What is it and how can we control it before it consumes us?

Envy, that complex emotion that has been the subject of attention for centuries, has become one of the most recurring concerns in the age of social media. We have all experienced that feeling of wanting what others have! Whether it's a house, a luxurious car, a successful career, a stable love relationship or a dream body, envy can make us feel inferior and even hopeless. But, what exactly is envy and why does it affect us so much? How can we control it before it completely consumes us?

There is no doubt that envy is a very complex emotion that can affect anyone at any time in their life. And although it may be difficult to define, it could be said that envy is the result of a comparison between our own situation and that of other people. When we feel that someone has something that we do not have, either in material or intangible terms, we can experience envy.

But what is envy?

Envy is a negative emotion that arises when someone feels that another person has something that they do not have. It can be something material, like a house or a car, or something intangible, like a skill, success, or relationship. Envy can manifest itself in many different ways, from admiration to resentment and bitterness.

And why envy?

Here are some common reasons why this emotion arises in our minds.

1. Insecurity : When we're not happy with ourselves or don't feel capable of achieving our goals, it's easy to compare ourselves to other people and feel envious of what they have.
2. Perfectionism : When we are perfectionists, we tend to compare our own achievements with those of others. If we feel that someone is doing a better job than we are, we may experience envy.
3. Unmet expectations : If we have high expectations for ourselves, we may feel envious when someone else seems to be achieving those same goals more easily.
4. Lack of control: When we don't have control over a situation, we can feel envious of those who do. For example, if someone has a job that allows them to work from home and you don't, you may be envious of their freedom.
5. Fear of failure : If we are afraid of failure, we may feel envious of those who have succeeded in an area in which we have failed.

Of course, not all envy is the same. There are different types of envy, some healthier than others.

What are the types of envy?

Let's take a look at some of the most common types of envy that people experience.

1. Material envy : This type of envy arises when someone wants to have the same material possessions as another person. It can be a luxurious house, an expensive car, branded clothes, etc.
2. Career envy : Career envy arises when someone is envious of someone else's work accomplishments, such as a promotion, a raise, or recognition at work.
3. Sentimental envy: This type of envy is related to a person's romantic or sexual feelings. If someone feels that her partner is paying too much attention to another person, for example, she may become envious.
4. Ability envy : This type of envy occurs when someone admires another person's abilities, whether in sports, music, art, etc. and is envious of not having the same abilities.
5. Status envy : Status envy occurs when someone wishes to have the same social or economic level as another person.
6. Beauty envy : Beauty envy arises when someone feels that they are not as attractive as another person and wishes to have the same same appearance.
7. Malignant envy : Malignant envy refers to intense and destructive envy that can lead a person to act maliciously to harm the other person. This type of envy can be very dangerous and harmful.
8. Benign Envy: Unlike evil envy, benign envy has no malicious intent. Instead, it is simply a feeling of wanting to have what another person has, without causing that person any harm.
9. Narcissistic envy : This type of envy refers to the envy that someone feels towards those who remind them of their own limitations or weaknesses. People who suffer from narcissistic envy may be envious of those who are more successful than they are in a particular area.

Now that we've explored the different types of envy, it's time to address one of the biggest questions:

How can we control envy?

1. Acknowledge your emotions: The first key to controlling envy is to acknowledge that you feel it. Accepting and understanding your emotions will help you deal with them more effectively.
2. Practice gratitude: Envy can arise when we focus on what we don't have instead of appreciating what we do have. Practicing gratitude daily can help you focus on the good things in your life and reduce feelings of envy.
3. Work on your self-esteem: Many times, envy arises when we compare ourselves with others. Working on your self-esteem and accepting yourself for who you are can help you feel more confident and less prone to envy.
4. Avoid comparisons : Trying to compare yourself with others is an easy trap that many fall into. Instead, focus on your own goals and objectives and work towards achieving them.
5. Practice empathy: It's easier to feel envy when we don't fully understand another person's situation. Practicing empathy and trying to understand the feelings and circumstances of others can help us see things from a different perspective.
6. Seek professional help: If your feelings of envy are intense or interfere with your daily life, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand and manage your emotions effectively.

In addition to the tips that we already mentioned, we can also work on our mind to understand and modify our thinking in relation to envy to create a more positive idea. Here are some additional recommendations:

1. Identify your negative thoughts: Often feelings of envy are accompanied by negative thoughts, such as "I'll never be as successful as him" or "I'll always do poorly compared to her." Identifying these thoughts can help you modify them and replace them with more positive and realistic ones.
2. Analyze what you like about the other person: Sometimes envy arises when we see something we want in someone else. Instead of being envious, try to analyze what you like about that person. Is it your job? Your personality? Their physical appearance? Identifying what it is that attracts you to that person can help you work on getting it for yourself.
3. Reflect on how you got it: It's easy to feel envious when we think someone got something without effort or merit. But in reality, the other person has probably worked hard to get what she has. Reflecting on their efforts and accomplishments can help you appreciate their work and inspire you to work just as hard on your own goals.
4. Design an action plan: If there is something specific you want to achieve, design an action plan to achieve it. Identify the steps you need to take and start working on them little by little. Remember that success does not come overnight, but with effort and dedication you can achieve your goals.
5. Be humble and ask for help if necessary: If you think the other person can help you get what you want, don't hesitate to ask for their help. be humble and recognizes that we all need help sometimes. But also remember that you must work hard and put what you learn into practice to achieve your goals.