Discover how to act when your partner is insecure to improve the relationship

Finding out that your partner is insecure can be challenging, but all is not lost. With patience and understanding, you can learn to deal with this situation and strengthen your relationship. Today we want to give you practical and friendly advice on the way we should act when our partner is insecure.

Before we talk about advice on how to handle this situation we need to understand that insecure people often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and doubts about their own worth. They may experience a constant need for validation and wonder if they will be understood and if someone will have the patience to support them. In reality, they consider themselves "a burden" and may believe that they do not deserve anyone's love. If you are in a relationship with an insecure person, you have probably noticed these thought patterns.

Emotional insecurity can manifest itself in different contexts, be it work, family or, most commonly, in the sphere of the couple and close relationships. Insecure people often experience jealousy or chronic anxiety that leads them to believe that the relationship is in danger or that their partner will soon leave them. Paradoxically, this excessive worry can lead to despair in the other person, and sometimes it can even put the relationship at risk.

But not all is lost. The key is to remember that both you and your partner deserve a loving and nurturing relationship. By taking a caring and empathetic approach, you can overcome the challenges of insecurity and build a stronger, more lasting connection.

Why can a person become insecure in their relationship?

Emotional insecurity in couple relationships can have several underlying causes. Below we will explore some of the common reasons why we may experience emotional insecurity in our relationships:

1. Past experiences: Traumatic or painful experiences in previous relationships can leave emotional scars and create insecurity in future relationships. If we have experienced rejection, abandonment, or betrayal in the past, we may carry those fears into our current relationships.
2. Low self-esteem: Lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem can lead to emotional insecurity in relationships. If we don't feel valuable or lovable enough, we may constantly question whether our partner really loves us or deserves their love and attention.
3. Comparisons with others : The tendency to compare ourselves with other people can fuel emotional insecurity. If we compare ourselves to our partner's past reviews, the attractive people around them, or the ideal partners we see on social media, we may feel inadequate and trigger feelings of insecurity.
4. Lack of communication and clarity: The lack of effective communication within the relationship can generate insecurity. If we don't openly express our needs, wants, and concerns, our partner may not understand our expectations, which can lead to doubt and anxiety in the relationship.
5. Emotional dependency: Excessive emotional dependency can contribute to emotional insecurity. When we become too dependent on our partner for our happiness and self-esteem, we fear losing their love and affection, which makes us feel insecure and anxious.
6. Dysfunctional relationship patterns: If we grew up in family environments or past relationships characterized by insecurity, conflict, or lack of emotional support, we may carry these patterns into our current relationships. These patterns can fuel our insecurity and make it difficult to develop a healthy relationship.

What are the patterns of an insecure person?

The patterns of an insecure person can manifest in various ways. You should keep in mind that these behavior patterns can vary in their intensity and manifestation in each person:

1. Require constant approval: Insecure people often constantly seek approval and validation from their partner. They may rely heavily on the opinions and praise of others to feel valued and accepted. This constant need for validation can put pressure on the relationship and create an imbalance in the couple's dynamics.
2. They are suffocating : Insecure people tend to be very emotionally dependent on their partner. They may be afraid of losing her, and as a result, they will constantly seek to be close to her. This can lead to stifling behaviors, such as needing to always be together, constantly monitoring each other's movements, or insisting on sharing every moment of the day. These actions can generate a feeling of lack of space and freedom in the relationship.
3. They are jealous and possessive: Emotional insecurity often manifests itself through jealousy and possessiveness. Insecure people may experience intense fear and anxiety at the prospect of losing their partner. As a result, they may display excessive and irrational jealousy, control their activities, and demand constant proof of fidelity. This attitude can generate tensions and conflicts in the relationship.
4. They are distrustful: Distrust is another common pattern in insecure people. They often find it difficult to fully trust their partner, even in the absence of objective reasons to doubt their loyalty or commitment. This distrust can lead to constant vigilance, misinterpretations of a partner's actions, and a tendency to suspect without solid grounds.

How can we handle our partner's insecurity?

1. Stay on the same page: Show her understanding and listen to her concerns and fears without judgment, and show her that you are there for her.
2. Show your support: Make sure your partner feels you are there for them. Encourage her and recognize her accomplishments and qualities. Let her know that you trust her and the relationship.
3. Don't do things to him that you wouldn't want him to do to you: Treat your partner with respect and consideration. Avoid actions that may fuel your insecurities, such as excessive criticism or avoidance behavior. Cultivate a safe and loving environment.
4. Remind her of her virtues: Let your partner know the qualities and virtues you admire in her. Recognize their strengths and highlight their achievements. Reminding him of his virtues can help strengthen his self-esteem and counteract insecurity.
5. Show her your life and include her in it: Share your experiences, interests and projects with her. This will help build trust and strengthen the sense of belonging in the relationship.
6. Be patient: Patience is key when it comes to dealing with your partner's insecurity. Understand that overcoming insecurity takes time and effort. Be patient and show empathy during the process.
7. Know their insecurities: Communicate with your partner and learn about the underlying causes of their insecurity. By understanding their insecurities, you can provide appropriate support and avoid actions that trigger them.
8. Don't get carried away by emotions to make decisions: Avoid making important decisions based solely on moments of insecurity or mistrust. Take the time to reflect and approach the situation rationally.
9. Give her space: Recognize the importance of personal space in the relationship. Allow your partner time to themselves and to develop their own interests and relationships outside of the relationship.
10. Be realistic: Keep realistic expectations in the relationship. No person is perfect, and it is normal to have moments of insecurity. Accept the imperfections and work together to build a strong and healthy relationship.
11. Understand your partner and put yourself in their shoes: Strive to understand your partner's experiences and perspectives. Put yourself in their shoes and show empathy towards their feelings. Mutual understanding will strengthen the connection between you.
12. Don't let something toxic be done: Know your boundaries and don't let your partner's insecurity turn into toxic or abusive behavior. If the situation becomes untenable, seek professional support to work through the insecurity issues in the relationship.

Remember that each relationship is unique, and it is important to adapt these suggestions to your particular circumstances. By working together and cultivating open and compassionate communication, you will be able to overcome insecurity and build a stronger and more fulfilling relationship.